A year ago my life changed irrevocably, i found religion. This religion is EzadaSinnism. Before this i never realised how empty my life was. i knew i was missing something, i was searching for something but i did not know what it was.
Now, as i look back, i see my life in 2 parts. The first part i shall refer to as Before Goddess, the second i shall call Anno Dea (the year of the Goddess).
In years 40-1 BG (before Goddess) my life seemed normal, i did all the normal things. i worked, i visited friends, i went on holiday. All seemed as it should be, i thought i was happy but i was never fulfilled. my life at this time seemed without purpose, without any plan. my degree, my work, everything in my life just happened, it was not planned. i lacked direction, my energy was without focus.
In 0AD (Anno Dea) all this changed, finding my new religion has had a profound effect. Under Goddess’ supreme guidance i have found a focus, Goddess’ pleasure. All my energies used with one purpose in mind. For those of us with a submissive nature pleasing another brings more pleasure than pleasing oneself, there can be no greater fulfilment. To sacrifice and test oneself for one’s Owner brings the ultimate satisfaction. The smile on Goddess’ face at my suffering brings the ultimate joy.
Under Goddess’ supreme guidance my life has improved in several ways. Firstly i have begun to realise my deepest fantasies, some i am not sure i realised i had. The reality is very different from the fantasy, but more fulfilling for it. In fantasy it is often all about the bondage, the whipping, the strap-on etc. The reality is about servitude, sometimes this will be a whipping, at other times it will be about domestic chores. It doesn’t matter what the activity is, if it is in service to Goddess Ezada it will be done and my feeling of fulfilment is much greater than anything i could do for myself. Cleaning the dungeon for Goddess can bring the same fulfilment as taking a whipping for Goddess’ pleasure. To be useful to Goddess Ezada is to know joy.
Through Goddess Ezada i have been able to visit new places, meet new people and form connections in this new world of Female Supremacy. Serving at the Fem Dom Retreat was an amazing honour and i met some truly wonderful people. True, there were some very scary and nervous times. i was exposed and humiliated in front of everyone, but making Goddess happy filled me with the biggest sense of pride i could ever imagine.
Under Goddess’ orders i have begun to look after myself better. my eating habbits have improved, i eat more salad, more fruit and eat less junk food. i am now leaner than ever before, i’ve never been overweight but there was room for improvement. Goddess demands perfection and this is what i must work towards, if i ever achieve it is another question.
Finally, thanks to Goddess’ training i am able to accept who i am. The submissive part of me is nothing to be ashamed of, but something to be proud of. All of us, great or small, have a part to play in life. One cannot be happy until one knows one’s part. Goddess has shown me the way, i know my part, to serve my wonderful Owner. Only through this service can i find true fulfilment.
i know there will be more trials and tribulations in the future, but i couldn’t imagine my life any other way.
Life in 2 parts