So, when talking about love in a D/s relationship let´s look at the male perspective first: Does the slave love the Mistress who punishes him relentlessly? Of course he does. If he wouldn´t love her, he couldn’t do that: Stand the pain, take the humiliation. But wait a second I can hear the vanilla people say: The slave in the D/s relationship does he not exactly want this? Does he not enjoy the pain, relish the torture, indulge in it? Well let Me tell you: In most cases he does not. A masochist would. But I am not talking about masochists here. I am talking about “s”ubmissives. To tell You the true: I am not really interested in masochists. A masochists gets his personal kick out of the pain. It is about his kick and I am not interested in serving as a kick supplier for males. I am interested in My own lust and fulfillment. And so should any male who tries to fight his way through the thistly thorn hedge that securely surrounds My polyandry house.
The submissive male is totally different from the masochist. There is a clear distinction between them that surprisingly seems to go unnoticed by the general public. The submissive is after submission. It is about subordinating under a stronger will, under a creature of a higher order, under female divinity. The submissive seeks to proof his allegiance, his devotion, his surrender to the Domina. His objective is to pamper and serve her to the best of his abilities. Her bliss is the centre of his live. And what more valuable concept could there be for a male?
Enduring pain and humiliation for the true submissive is not a means to selfishly satisfy hinmself and his male lust. It is a means to show the Domina that he endures that for Her. It is nothing but a proof of love. Without a love deeply felt and routed and founded within himself he could not go through all that. The whipping, the pain, the humiliation, the degradation. Only love can carry him through that. So in the whipping the message of the Dom is (at least in general) not “I torture you because I want to punish you” it is definitely not “I torture you because I hate you.”. It is “I torture you so that you can show your love to Me.” As incomprehensible as this may seem to the vanilla word, the whipping so becomes an act of love.
But what about the other side of the whip, what about the Domina and her feelings towards the slave? Well I have to say I have encountered many different perspectives of fellow Mistresses on this issue. I cannot and will not speak for all of them here. I only want to talk about Myself. And for Me it is very clear. I have a personal relation to only a very limited number of submissives who were lucky enough to get so far. In these D/s relationships I surely feel the love of the slave and I respond to it. I graciously open Myself for his feelings and encourage him to follow this path. I am deeply convinced that the slave needs that assertion from the Domina that she understands what he is telling her in his submission: “i offer myself to You, please accept my body and soul as a sacrifice.” It is then when the two souls of the D and the s can communicate without words, when they meet in a world of their own.
So, then, do I love My slaves who offer and submit themselves to Me? Well … yes, but not in a classic romantic way. No, My love is quite different from that… First of all I am very proud of My slaves and devotees. They are like faithful, valuable and useful human dogs. I cherish what they are and do for Me to make My life so wonderful. Seeing them humbly serve Me and follow My every order makes My heart sing with joy.
But it is even more than that, more than mere pride of ownership…. I love their abandonment, their unconditioned dedication, their addiction and commitment to Me. So what I deeply love in them is their fathomless love for Me. A love that they can express by overcoming their inhibitions, by enduring My whippings, by silently suffering under the high heels of My boots, by praying to My divinity. It is this love that makes them special and can make Me love them in return, though in a different way.
