I received a beautiful long email from a man in his 20’s who is struggling to accept his inclination towards a female led relationship. These are My advices for him and other men like him. Watch the video for free on YouTube
People often ask Me, whether there can be love in a D/s relationship. And quite often they are then surprised about My answer: Love is not only an option but a condition and the foundation of a true D/s relationship.
For people with a vanilla background this is hard to understand. How can it be love when a woman in leather boots severely whips a male who is tied to a whipping post and screaming in pain? How can a man feel love for a woman who finds pleasure in letting him crawl behind her on a dog leash during her high street shopping tour?
But not only vanilla people are astonished when I tell them about love in a D/s relationship. Sometimes fellow professional Mistresses express their reservation too. For some the submissive male is an anonymous client in the best case. More often than not he is just a worthless and despised irrelevant piece of crap.
For Me, this is totally different. And maybe this one of the main reasons that professional sessions with men that I do not have a personal relationship with have become rather uninteresting for Me.
Enduring pain and humiliation for the true submissive is not a means to selfishly satisfy hinmself and his male lust. It is a means to show the Domina that he endures that for Her. It is nothing but a proof of love. Without a love deeply felt and routed and founded within himself he could not go through all that. The whipping, the pain, the humiliation, the degradation. Only love can carry him through that. So in the whipping the message of the Dom is (at least in general) not “I torture you because I want to punish you” it is definitely not “I torture you because I hate you.”. It is “I torture you so that you can show your love to Me.” As incomprehensible as this may seem to the vanilla word, the whipping so becomes an act of love.
But what about the other side of the whip, what about the Domina and her feelings towards the slave? Well I have to say I have encountered many different perspectives of fellow Mistresses on this issue. I cannot and will not speak for all of them here. I only want to talk about Myself. And for Me it is very clear. I have a personal relation to only a very limited number of submissives who were lucky enough to get so far. In these D/s relationships I surely feel the love of the slave and I respond to it. I graciously open Myself for his feelings and encourage him to follow this path. I am deeply convinced that the slave needs that assertion from the Domina that she understands what he is telling her in his submission: “i offer myself to You, please accept my body and soul as a sacrifice.” It is then when the two souls of the D and the s can communicate without words, when they meet in a world of their own.