Scientists found that sex improves as we get older because we develop more ‘sexual wisdom’ in our later years, so now is the best time for a mature dating experience. Like many things in life, sex is a subject burdened by preconceptions and stereotypes. Many younger people fall into a cycle of living for the next weekend, never finding any reason to focus on anything longer-term than who’s hosting the next party or wanting to check out the new singles bar that’s opened up.
Dating sites can aid and abet this hedonistic outlook, offering convenient shortcuts like swiping right or left or facilitating geolocation software so people can get matched based on no more pressing criteria than who happens to be closest. Casual sex can equate to convenient sex, but does that mean good sex? Hardly. The nature of no-strings-attached encounters means the scope for any emotional attachment is minimal. It’s all about teeing up the moment, enjoying an energetic connection, then swiftly moving on. When people get together for these flings, they have no way of knowing what their partner will appreciate most, what positions they favor, what their secret desires and kinks might be? This means much of this sort of liaison is about self-satisfaction. Only by having an emotional connection does sex become truly reciprocal. And this is something that improves with experience.
“Sexual wisdom” grows
Many people caught up in the throes of desire haven’t a clue what sexual wisdom might refer to. Again, this is down to that over-riding sense of urgency that can grip the younger generation, uninitiated in the finer points of satisfying a partner for long periods. But anyone who might loosely be described as middle-aged or older should have a decent idea. This is all about maturity. The rise in popularity in dating sites has partly been down to the sheer convenience of accessing an online platform where you can interact with a prospective new partner within a few taps of your keyboard. But the interest has also been driven by the modern sexual revolution. Pornography is more accessible than ever, bring fewer notable traits. Sexual wisdom is a way of countering the exploitative way sex can be portrayed. In short, over-50s are more likely to understand that porn tends to be a false representation.
Focus on quality over quantity in the bedroom
This sexual wisdom will also cover areas like appreciating the myriad ways of pleasuring a partner without being overly reliant on penetration. Mature individuals will have developed a lot of patience and understanding in their lifetime. They’ll know what they like and what partners will appreciate. They’ll be open to experimentation. Dating services exist for those drawn to BDSM or polyamorous partnerships. Many sites offer a lot of good background advice about using sex toys, oral sex, different positions, and much more. Sex can be about so much more than the missionary position or quickies. There can be a time and a place for the vibrant rushed climax – say when the act is occurring outdoors or in some ‘risky’ setting like a washroom or a spare room in a house party. But older people know the most fulfilling orgasms occur after lengthier sessions, where the passion has been treated like a slow-burning fuse rather than an explosion that quickly dissipates.
Studies have demonstrated the importance of regular sex in prolonging a healthy life. This will boost moods and enhance the depth of feelings individuals within a relationship have for each other. Even if these unions’ frequency drops, compared to the urgency of all those quickies during a couple’s formative years, the quality is more likely to improve. The more often sex occurs within a relationship, the greater the confidence of the respective parties. They’ll feel encouraged to explore their horizons or improve on their techniques.
Youngsters can feel pressurized into jumping into bed with someone during social occasions as if going home alone is the worst thing they could imagine. But once people have lived through relationships, even the dodgier ones, they will inevitably grow stronger, developing a sense of maturity. They’ll be able to relax and let things take their natural course. Adversity will nurture an optimistic outlook. So even when over-50s have been through turbulent divorces or have accumulated a lot of ‘baggage,’ they’ll be able to place less-savory incidents in perspective.
*This is blog post is a cooperation