13 motivations for being a submissive by medor

I consider power exchange relationships natural and I don’t think it is important to find reasons WHY a male would choose to submit to a Dominant Woman other than the desire to please Her out of adoration and love. However, some of My boys needed to explain their desire to be submissive. What do you think?

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1 – Humiliation

You like to be embarrassed or even degraded, treated as an object, as less than what you are, by a more powerful partner.

Examples: your partner pulls you with a leash in the street, gives you a slap or a spanking in a public place … Feelings of admiration, adoration, reverence, devotion, idolatry, for the beloved woman, that you compare easily to a “goddess” : as you love Her. it’s so natural to put Her “on a pedestal” !

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2 – Service

You love to meet the needs of others as a good servant should do.

Examples: light a cigarette, bring a drink, wash the dishes, do the housework, offer gifts to your owner

3 – Masochism

You like feeling pain in an erotic and sexual context. Could be because some pains, mild or strong, excite you sexually (endorphin), or because you enjoy the psychological turmoil of having to suffer for the other.

Examples: being whipped, having your nipples torture 

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4 – Loss of control

You like to be out of your own control, you like having to obey the will of another, you like to have no choice.

Examples: bondage, pet play


5 – Emotional Security

You like to feel confident and in intimacy, not to have to make decisions, to be appreciated and cherished, the fact that it’s your partner – not you – who is responsible, to have the impression you have arrived to destination.

Examples : to feel ourselves protected; not to worry about spending and payments; to appreciate that your partner wants to keep you under control and to knoweverything about yourself and your life.

6 – Being defeated

You like fighting an attractive person who is stronger than you, physically, emotionally or mentally, and then, having lost that fight, having to pay the price or suffer the consequences.

Examples: fantasy of being hunted, chased for a long time, and forced; or a firm discussion with your partner until she forces you to shut up in one way or another.

7 – Being raped

You like the sensation of an extreme rape game and all that it implies: surprise, pain, fear, inability to flee.

Examples : scenarios of kidnapping and rape, sodomy

8 – Self-destruction

It is a mostly unconscious motivation, but it should be included here because a small but significant number of subjects are submissive for that reason. They feel despicable and abominable, so it would be justice if someone rejected them, hurt them or even killed them.

Example: permanent imprisonment fantasy

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9 – Sexual Intensity

You like to flirt with danger, experience very intense emotions, feel so incredibly alive, be pushed to extreme limits of your ability to endure pain in all lucidity… You like it because it is taboo, vicious and perverse.

Examples: a simple curiosity (what can I tolerate or endure?), extreme S & M scenes, like scat play, very strong electric torture, branding with a knife or hot iron

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10 – Fetish

You are attracted by certain objects, up to adoration of these objects.

Examples: latex,  women’s underwear, dirty panties, smell and feel of leather.

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11 – Narcissism

You want to be the center of attention. Each of your fears and wishes are listened to carefully by your partner, if not met. During sexual activity, you are often shown to other slaves and Mistresses, by a prestigious Dominatrix. She publishes “your” clips, your writing. In reality you are treated with care like a precious treasure !

12 – Spirituality

Some people consider pain and SM as a spiritual exercise, a way to grow spiritually

Example : stoicism, flagellants in the Middle Ages

13 – Intimacy and Love

This goes much further than the “emotional security” mentioned above. Many people yearn intimacy but not particularly security. Intimacy is sharing ideas and experiences, giving to a woman (someone) a substantial place in his head, confide her all your thoughts and innermost desires, good or bad.

Example : in the course of permanent SM relationship, special but very deep intimacy develops gradually. You love your partner, and you love the love your partner

might feel gradually for you.

Please, give your personal feeling about each possible motivation:

0=not at all, 1=very little, 2=a little, 3=actually, 4=a lot, 5=extremely


1 – Humiliation

2 – Service

3 -Masochism

4 – Loss of control

5 – Emotional security

6 – Being defeated

7 – Being raped

8 – Self-destruction

9 – Sexual intensity

10 – Fetish

11 – Narcissism

12 – Spirituality

13 – Intimacy and love


by medor

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