bdsm terms

Through the growth of social media, films and television, FemDom has begun to permeate the vanilla consciousness. Yet, there are many misconceptions regarding the nature of FemDom relationships which prevent them from truly being accepted. The terminology used can aid to fuel these misconceptions, and that is what I wish to cover here. In particular the terminology used when referring to a Domina’s property…….slave. The term slave is everywhere in FemDom, Domina’s use it to refer to Their owned males, it is often used to refer to males in general, “unowned” slaves (a contradiction in terms) are abundant. Yet, this term conveys a very different impression to the vanilla world than is the reality of a Female Led relationship.

The term slave carries with it a lot of historical, and current day, baggage. The image is one of non-consensual forced slavery. In history, from the ancient worlds of Egypt, Greece, Rome etc, to the later empires of the 19^th century, the term slave conjures the image of people being forced through force of arms from their homes and countries. To be taken by force, to work and suffer through no choice of their own. If we move to the modern day, the news is frequented by stories of modern-day slavery, of people being treated brutally and forced to carry out demeaning and degrading acts against their will.

If it is to be truly accepted in the vanilla world, it is this image which FemDom needs to distance itself from, the image of non-consensuality. Sure, the Domina’s property will be made to carry out demeaning and degrading tasks for the amusement of it’s Owner, it may be whipped or punished. This may not sound so different, but there is a key difference, the words “against their will”. In a true FemDom relationship, the property has given itself into the power exchange of its own volition. The male has accepted its place under the rule of the Female and willingly accepts the punishments and humiliation. These acts are not merely an exchange of power, a way of enforcing the rule of the Female, they are a link between the two parties. There is trust between the Domina and Her property, the Domina trust that Her orders will be followed, the property trusts that it’s Owner will have it’s well being at heart. The humiliations and pain are a symbol of the property’s love for its Owner, the Domina loves Her property for its sacrifice.

It is also true that the term slave has become associated more with bdsm sex and not so much with the true dynamics of a FemDom relationship. A FemDom relationship is much more than bdsm sex, it is about the male submissive serving his Goddess in any way She requires to make Her life easier and more pleasurable, it is not, as is often perceived, merely servicing kinks.

The reality of a FemDom relationship is far removed from the concept which the vanilla world has of the term slave. It is for this reason, I have taken the decision to cease referring to my properties as slaves and have now decided to use the term chattel.

Chattel – “a piece of personal property, including something that can be moved, or rights such as copyright and patents, but not usually including land and buildings”

Once a male has given itself into a total power exchange with Me, it becomes my property. I believe the term chattel accurately represents what the male is (personal property), without carrying the baggage which so surrounds the term slave. It is My dream that one day FemDom will be fully accepted in the world, and by changing the terminology We can help to break some of those misconceptions which so hinder this.

Imagine a world in which Female Ownership of a male is fully accepted. I believe that by changing the vanilla world’s perception of FemDom relationships We can achieve this dream.