“No Stapana, there is no escape from Your absolute power. i feel just as helpless as though i am locked in a small steel cage. Naked, collared, locked in chastity, my ankles are shackled to the bars of the cage, my wrists are cuffed behind my back. Total captivity, No possibility of escape. The hours pass very slowly and painfully. Frequently i wriggle against the chains to find a better position in which i can for a moment relax and forget this reality. But there is no such position. My chains have been carefully arranged to ensure that any comfort is denied me, so that I can think of nothing except You, Stapana,
The clock ticks on. In only a few more hours You will enter the room. What a sweet dread moment for a slave! What mood will You be in? How can I know? Will Your whip be kind to me? Or will You be brutal and merciless? Have i displeased You in any way? Have I disobeyed You? Do I know all the slave positions by heart and can i react instantly to Your hand commands? Have I done anything to deserve punishment? In my head i practice how I will greet You, Stapana, when You enter the room. First the gentle and reverent kiss of Your boots, slowly, devotedly, three times each boot. Then, on Your command, the passionate dog-like licking and cleaning. i want You to feel the submission and adoration of my tongue through the leather. Then on my back, cleaning the soles of Your boots. Total and complete submission to You.
My thoughts turn to that beautiful and sacred Sardax drawing, where You receive the adoration of a kneeling slave between Your thighs. Such an image of submission and slavery! I feel now the same passion of submission and abject worship that this slave must be feeling.
Yet i know and accept that my purpose in life is now to suffer for Your pleasure. There is no escape from Your whip. It will break me and take me down to even deeper surrender, to obedience and worship way beyond what I know now. Your pleasure, Goddess, my suffering.
Teach me Stapana what it means to be owned by You.
Indeed there is no escape.“